For this post, I chose the 2006 prompt: Many writers use a country setting to establish values within a work of literature. For example, the country may be a place of virtue and peace or one of primitivism and ignorance. Choose a novel or play in which such a setting plays a significant role. Then write an essay in which you analyze how the country setting functions in the work as a whole.
Student 3A:
The best part of this essay was definitely the conclusion. Not to say that the other parts were bad, but this student simply nailed it in the end, taking in all of her ideas across the body and combining them into well-written statements. Going into the content, I would say that the writer's ideas were great and showed a strong understanding of the text (which, by the way, is Persuasion by Jane Austen), but it was the manner in which they presented those ideas that brought it down. They touched on everything in their thesis, but I felt that at certain points, especially the description of Bath vs. Uppercross, the author could have used a little less detail from the novel and added in more analysis. As a reader, I got the contrast part in the first sentence, so I wanted to hear more of the author's thoughts. In all, this was a really good essay. Aside from some structural points and a bit of redundancy, the writer demonstrated a clear understanding of the text, and made frequent reference to the effects/meanings of the countryside in Persuasion. I would agree with the score of 8 that it received.
Student 3B:
I feel like this author got lost on the tangent of comedy while writing this essay. It starts out with some promise, but even in their thesis, the writer calls the play a "successful comedy," instead of focusing in their argument towards the magic AP lit question: meaning. With regards to the content, there is a disproportionate amount of summarizing going on, and the writer is almost filling up space with details from the play instead of analyzing their significance. Even then, when the writer chooses to analyze something, it has very little to do with meaning. Towards the end, my thoughts were: I understood that the plot was funny the first time you said it! Move on already! Sadly, when they did move on, it was their conclusion. I agree with the reader's comments but not with the score of a 6. For one thing, I don't even think this person wrote enough because so far, all of the "good" essays that I have read have been more than 2 pages long. In the end, this writer failed to address the actual prompt and sticks to an unrelated description of the comedic effect, rather than the actual meaning that is generated by the juxtaposition of country and city life.
Student 3C:This essay demonstrates the importance of a strong introduction because it does not have one. On top of that the content was just plain irrelevant. Nothing that the writer wrote showed any insight into meaning at all, but rather just related details that seemed to fit the prompt. Plus, they should have probably included the word "country" somewhere in their discussion to form a link in the reader's mind between the prompt and essay. This speaks to the need to assume the reader knows nothing about your chosen work. Their use of second person is just not okay. This is not a conversation. This is an AP Exam, and I am certainly not your friend. The writer's claims just seem to obvious assertions that anyone can make without even reading it, and there is not even an ounce of DIDLS anywhere. The fact that it got a four actually makes me a bit happy because if this got four points, then with what Ms. Holmes has taught us, I am sure we can easily do better.
Abhijit,
ReplyDeleteThese are great reviews.You should add the titles of the piece of literature the students chose to write about in the second and third review, you did so in the first one but left it out in the remaining. Also, the last two you didn’t exactly elaborate on how the country setting was discussed well or poorly.For the final essay it would have been nice if you had included the score you think the student ought to have received instead of just disagreeing with the score. I also find it heartening that if these essays received such generous scores than we ought to be able to do just fine on the essay portion of the exam, which I always feel less confident about.
Abhijit,
ReplyDeleteGreat job on the post! In your response for 3B, you seem to have noticed that the writer lacked an in depth analysis for their paper, maybe you can provide some ways the writer could have improved his or her paper for a better score. Also, just like Henry stated, if you could add a score than that would be helpful for you because you can see where you stand as a writer. I know that I struggle with giving scores but it does help in the long run.
Hi Abhijit,
ReplyDeleteGood work! These critiques are thoughtful and thorough. In the first essay, you mentioned that the student included too much detail in the form of a summary, and was lacking in analysis. Do you think that that detail could have aided in his/her analysis? To me, it seemed necessary to provide the reader with background information in order to set up her ideas. However, she probably could've have been effective in that without quite as much summary, so I see where you're coming from. In your response to the third essay, you made a great point by mentioning the need to assume your reader knows nothing about the text. I think that's something people often forget, don't you? Especially when a student spends a large amount of time reading a piece of literature, it can difficult to remember that the audience may be unfamiliar with it. Good observations!
Eddie